No More Secrets. Read Mine Here

No more secrets you guys.

You know how they say if you’re not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem?

Well, I’m part of the problem. So, no more secrets.

What’s your problem this month, Ann? (that’s my negative self-talk chiming in. She’s not very nice sometimes.)
I was on Instagram @anngarvin_ looking at everyone’s photos and feeling bad about my living room, my backyard furniture, my lame ass kitchen table and the lighting in my bathroom.

Then I examined the faces of all my peers and decided that I needed to start a skin regime like YESTERDAY and would have googled Botox injections when I happened upon a garden photo that made my Hibiscus plant feel really bad about herself. I made the mistake of showing her the organic food abundance, and we had to do some affirmations about lone blooms and the value of wallflowers. We talked about getting a rototiller and building a sustainable co-op, but then I saw my friend’s photos of Italy and thought maybe I should sell my house with its shitty kitchen table and move.

The post that put me over the edge was a woman who showed me that I could repurpose my hair clips and secure the shoots of organic tomato seedlings (see above) and urged me to try and get all my recycling for the year, into a small container the size of the tampon box, the likes of which I don’t even have anymore. Why? Because of menopause.

Don’t feel sorry for me. You know you’re the same when you look at my glamorous life of a single mom living on one salary while holding down three jobs.

So, I’m guilty too. I won’t post a photo if I look a day over fifty-five. And, I’ve taken off my pajamas when I’ve had to do a book club meeting. Last week I showered before a speaking engagement. So, Yeah, I groom, snap and delete like the best of ’em. These are the secrets I’m talking about. Secrets that hide the real me from you so that I look more together than I am.

Today though, I’m going to do a photo that represents the real me. And, when I say the real me I mean, a photo of what’s in my purse.

That’s where you really learn about a girl.

It’s time to show you that I’m not the glamour girl you think I am. (hahahaha)
So, here it is. Inside my purse. No secrets.

secrets

Yes, I carry a big purse.
I numbered a few things, so let’s take a tour.
1) The pill bottle. I take an anti-depressant. I know that I seem like the most cheerful person ever and I am. Partially, because I take an antidepressant and partly because I am cheerful. But, at some point, I became both cheerful and increasingly anxious. This runs in my family. Sometimes people need help. People need to talk about the help they get so that others don’t feel bad if they need a little medicine. I sometimes keep this a secret. Not anymore.
2) Coffee. My doctor would say less coffee = less anxiety and I would say, I don’t drink too much coffee. I don’t snort it.  I drink just enough and I don’t want to be without it. Because I like it. So it’s in my purse.
3) This is the trimmer for any facial hair that dares make itself known to me. You can thank my high school friends who nicknamed me Whiskers when I went through puberty. If you’re the kind of person that thinks, Ann, you’ve got to let that go….well, then that’s all very nice for you to be so evolved about your facial hair. Go flaunt your hairy self and leave my trimmer to me then.
4) This is progesterone that goes with the estrogen patch on my ass. It occurs to me that I should call this post: Better Living Through Chemistry, but you know, in the end, it’s all chemistry: who you’re attracted to, how your body handles your food, the patch you stick on your ass. I’m here to say, embrace your chemistry. It helps a little. Menopause isn’t sexy but aging could be if we told the truth about it.
5) I carry around a lot of lipsticks, hair clips and other things like earplugs, glasses, and food. If I get stranded, this is my go-bag. I’m prepared. If you travel with me I will keep your lips pink, your phone charged and your mood elevated (just kidding).
6) Lastly, I use a paper calendar, I don’t like sticky hands and I don’t use my Fitbit. Call me old. Call me unmotivated. Or just call me human.

It’s just this. We are all humans with our individual needs. I wanted to show you that I’m not afraid that you know certain things about me because, I hope it makes you feel better about certain things about you. #NoMoreSecrets

xoA

[Tweet ” You know how they say if you’re not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem? Well, I’m part of the problem. No more secrets.”]

14 Comments

  1. Lynne on October 17, 2017 at 3:36 pm

    I knew I loved you from the absolute second that I met you. Even if it wasn’t in real life. It was on twitter. ahahaaaaa….

    But the best part?! You are even better in real life AND your purse contents are twinning with mine.

    We were definitely sisters separated at birth.

    Let’s have a treehouse date next summer again! I miss you my friend!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo <— times a million.

    • Ann Garvin on October 17, 2017 at 3:50 pm

      I will come to your tree house in a second and yes, girl we are two peas in a pod. 2 peas I tell you!!! xxox

  2. Donna on October 17, 2017 at 3:48 pm

    Well that right there~ perfect, just like you… ass patch and all~ Thank you for being your most wonderful true authentic self! Hugs my friend!!

  3. Ann Garvin on October 17, 2017 at 3:50 pm

    Hugs to you my dear friend!

  4. Margie Shaw on October 17, 2017 at 4:06 pm

    Now this is a post that I really enjoyed reading! You brought a smile to my face on what so far has been a crappy day. My washer pooped the bed! Ugh! First one thing, then another. But this has made me feel better and for that, I thank you!

    • Ann Garvin on October 17, 2017 at 8:57 pm

      I’m so glad 🙂 . This is why I wrote it. 🙂

  5. Lynn on October 17, 2017 at 4:28 pm

    I love you even more. This is truly awesome…I find the inside of my pocketbook to have a lot of the same stuff…minus the coffee (mine is in my travel mug in my hand!! or on my desk!) #nomoresecrets **HUGS**

  6. Betty on October 17, 2017 at 8:37 pm

    I loved this, Ann! Thanks for sharing yourself and for bringing a smile to my face!

  7. Gena on October 18, 2017 at 2:46 am

    Thank you! I like this post! I can certainly relate.

  8. Marti on October 18, 2017 at 8:43 am

    Looove!! So we are not alone.❤️❤️

  9. Madeline Sharples on October 18, 2017 at 8:34 pm

    I love that you shared what’s in your bag, and I really enjoyed reading your post. I just changed bags this week. I took everything out of one and put the stuff into my new one; however, I was brave enough to throw some things away – especially old tissues piled in at the bottom. Oh so gross!

  10. Tamie on October 19, 2017 at 3:43 am

    Love it Ann. You capture what we have all felt if we’re honest. Thanks for the chuckle.

  11. Maria on November 6, 2017 at 4:25 am

    Ann, as a 51 year old, bioidentical progesterone/estrogen, lipstick, occ. antidepressant using, food in the purse type of woman…thanks for always making me smile and feel totally normal! Your friend, Brad Halford (I met you at a conference a few years ago and we had this name in common)

    • Ann Garvin on October 18, 2018 at 1:13 pm

      YES! I love this. I’m sorry I missed it before :))

Leave a Comment