I tell you everything because I know you don’t judge me.

You aren’t a judger.

I just gotta know. What kind of person are you when you’re sick?
A. Stiff upper lip. Continues with life with a discrete tissue up sleeve.
B. Takes a day off work but returns medicated, slower but still game.
C. Sleeps a full day. Cancels a meeting so can pick up cold medicine. A little sad.
D. Makes illness an existential crisis. Spends a week on couch obsessively wondering what went wrong with immune system. Googles WebMD finally ending in the rabbit hole of the dark arts where cupping seems reasonable while pricing Seasonal Affective Disorder Lights. Puts a Tibetan Hand Hammered Singing Bowl in Amazon cart to support new promise to meditate for stress management. Realizes that if got seriously ill with a real disease friends would never say, “She’s not a complainer,” but would instead whisper amongst themselves, “My God she comes unglued if her nose runs, is entirely insufferable and should be put down if gets Strep. Orders bracelet engraved with the directive Should be put down when gets Strep.I wrote a book about it
I’m just going to confess this right now.

I’m “D”. I’m D and so are all the men who read my blog (sorry guys your wives & girlfriends have already told me)

You’d think I was made of tougher stuff wouldn’t you? I’m so sassy in other areas of life.

Here’s what I think happens. A motivational speaker lives in my head. A female Tony Robbins who is constantly shouting, LIFE IS SHORT! Mostly I don’t even hear her because when I’m well I can ignore her. I’m doing things that interest me, I’m working, writing, sure I’m wayyyy too busy but it’s all good. But from first nasal drip to final dry cough I can’t shut her up.

So, I try to problem solve and since I can’t problem solve a cold per se, I go to work on my life. It’s like Oprah gets into my head and says, “Is this your best self? IS IT?” Soon I start thinking about those books that want me to give away all my crap because there is life changing magic. I think, “I WANT MAGIC!” and before you know it I go from giving away a chair to googling realtors so I can sell my house.

But, I’m so very tired and sick that all I can manage is to sit in front of my sock drawer and throw away the socks that don’t match. Oprah turns her back on me. The motivational speaker in my head is so disappointed. “Socks?” She says, “Really? That’s all you got?”

I tell you all my flaws because I know that for the most part you are the same.

The world is constantly telling us to Live Big, Dream On, Go For the Gold and I think we, being people who try to do the right thing, try to go big or go home. There are so many ways to live our lives, how do you choose?

A few years ago, I told an elderly aunt that a good friend of mine was bisexual. She said this, “Good Lord that’s altogether too many choices.”

We live in a world with so many choices that sometimes it’s hard to pick and choose in a reasonable way. That when we are healthy we choose everything and only when we’re sick do we see that we have too much on our plates. Maybe that is why we get sick, to slow us down a bit so we can evaluate and see if our choices are the ones we actually want to make.

I just saw an ad for Weight Watchers where Oprah says, “I EAT CHIPS” and I thought. Good Lord, why am I taking advice from a woman who is that excited about chips?

I’ve decided to pay more attention to the voice in my head that is truly my voice and my voice said this, “It’s okay if you miss your February blog and write two blogs in March. Your friends don’t care because they Google all kinds of stuff when they’re sick too. That’s why they are your friends.

And, this my friends is why my blog is late. Dream big babies, I’m going to go take a nap.