I Got Fired.
This is not a new story, but it is a true story.
Several years ago, I blissfully, joyfully, dream-come-true-fully-taught creative writing in a Master of Fine Arts program in New Hampshire and I got fired. Unceremoniously and without cause, I was let the F-go.
The phone rang at 8PM on a Sunday night. The kids were asleep. I picked it up, and the program director said, “Ann, I’m calling to tell you that we aren’t having you back this next semester.”
My heart hammered, my breath caught in my throat, and I said, “{director’s name here} I am stunned. I don’t know what to say.”
Friends, this was my dream job. I loved the faculty—they had become my best friends. I still keep in touch with a lot (a lot) of the students from those years of teaching. The side hustle salary made my divorced, single mom of 2 kids, full-time Wisconsin professor life actually doable. It meant I could save for college for my kids and retirement. More than that, the experience of teaching writing felt like living and working in a candy store, and everything on the shelves had zero calories.
“Why? Why are you letting me go?” I said, feeling terrified that I’d done something egregious. Had I offended a student? Broke a significant rule? Done something to poison by beloved position?
I had wonderful teaching evaluations—I’d been a teacher for twenty-six years with many awards, hundreds of thank-you notes from students, tons of credibility for my skills. I have a PhD in education.
“Your next book isn’t going to be a big book.”
“My next book isn’t going to be a big book?”
“No. It’s not.”
My heart rate slowed, I stopped shaking, and my throat was no longer dry. I straightened my shoulders, though he couldn’t see it over the phone.
I knew what this was.
The director wasn’t predicting the future, telling me my book wouldn’t be a big book. He didn’t read my books. He wasn’t firing me for my teaching.
He was firing me because of his opinion of my writing.
His opinion was that I wrote not-big books. A big book is an important book that holds a mirror up to society, brings truths to light, gets on lists, wins literary awards and the authors become part of our cultural zeitgeist.
I’m a woman who writes about people who do too much in a culture that asks too much from them. I use humor to highlight it all and make it hurt a little less. His book released around the same time was about different generations of parenting, background and loyalty in America—apparently a contender for the big-book moniker.
He did to me what we do to people who threaten us.
He put me in my place. And that place was far away from him because he thought I was less than and my less than might rub off on him if I hung around his program.
Why am I telling you?
It’s time for me to stop feeling shame about getting fired for something that had nothing to do with me. Every time I talk about it, I feel better. And writing about it reminds me not to diminish people.
It’s easy to do, and it can feel good to put down someone who is doing well. But it doesn’t look good on us even though you can do it sneakily.
In the writing world—this is how it sounds….
- “She wrote it, but it’s not literary,” –Meaning it has little art or value.
- “It’s women’s fiction.” –Men write fiction. Women write a subcategory of fiction called women’s fiction.
- “She writes genre fiction or commercial fiction.” –Thrillers, romance, children’s books, sci-fi, and YA.
- “It’s easy to write those books. There’s a formula.”
- “She wrote it, but she had help.”
- “She writes like a man.” –Using this as a compliment.
- “Your book isn’t going to be a big book.”
So, what happened to the book he fired me for? It made the USA Today Bestseller list, was number one on Amazon for a week and sold enough books for me to quit my tenured teaching job and write full-time.
His book? Yeah, it flopped big time. Am I diminishing him with my opinion? Nope, there’s data—if I published a book that did that poorly, I’d be embarrassed.
Like I was embarrassed about getting fired.
So, this isn’t a new story. People get fired all the time. When it happened to me, it helped me figure out how to be aware of my petty jealousies and hierarchical thinking. It made me be a better person which will ultimately make me a better writer.
You can see for yourself if you like. I have a book coming out in August of this year.
Is it going to be a big book?
It’s big for me. And that’s what matters to me.
Xo Ann
Appearance and Teaching Schedule Here
Read more about this here: Joanna Russ
Ann, you always inspire me and help me accept the stuff that life throws at us. I may not have your humor and grace, but it helps to know that we can live through the trials!
Sue, you are a huge support–IRL and online. Thank you for reading and being here and saying so. xoxox
Loved this article and am going to read one of your books. Hmm, which one to choose? Also asked my library to purchase your books. Looking forward.
Shirley,
Thank you!! Wow, now that is some awesome support. The opposite of getting fired. 🙂
Ann, thank you for sharing and for being you! You inspire me to live out loud and to not apologize for who I am! Cheers to you from Dubai!
Ann,
This is a fabulous story and brings to light how to transform some negative baggage into fertile soil. Thanks so much!
Thank you Linda!
I’m so happy you are here. So supportive.
Ann
Bravo, Ann.
Oh Rita. Thank you. 🙂
Great post, Ann! Been there done that. When I wouldn’t capitulate in a ‘grilling’ session by the HR VP of my company (my dream job, btw, so I thought), in which I was told, ‘nobody thinks the way you do’, I was let go a few months later. No one could believe it; I got calls from our London and New Delhi offices expressing their disbelief…out of the shock, I ended up in my 30 years+ mind/body/spirit career…3 non-fiction books later, two translated into German, one in 2nd printing, along with several domestic and international articles, it actually was a blessing, for this field is where I belong. I learned a year later that she had been ‘unceremoniously fired.’ Karma is a bitch.
Grrrrr. That makes me so angry.
But, it did end up nicely for you–you are doing what you love. Still…..
And yes, Karma can be quite useful 🙂
Wow. I had no idea that writing a bestselling book could get you fired. Now I see getting fired as something to aspire too!
Hahahah right? I do not recommend. 🙂
Thank you for this post and sharing your story. Your list of writing world putdowns is SO SPOT on, it’s everything I’ve tried to put into words but have lacked your eloquence. Congratulations on your publishing success. I will be watching for your books!
So many putdowns!
I’m so glad you’re here. And thank you. It’s tough this business but people like you, you help a lot.
Ann,
You have NO idea how much this post meant to me. I am getting ready to release my first novel (and sixth book) and it’s not a *big* book–no great social commentary and not likely to get some literary awards. Just a book about midlife women struggling to find out who they are and who they can be–leavened with humor (because we all need some, right?).
And though I can’t be fired (I am self-employed so I’m the only one who can do it!) I still worry about how the book will be received and if the reading public will, in a sense, fire me.
While I don’t expect to reach your rung on the publishing ladder —BTW I LOVED I Thought You Said This Would Work and reviewed it on Amazon and my blog!—you give me hope that maybe I can be on the same ladder as you, if a few feet lower! And I can’t wait to read your next book!
Nancy,
I totally see you. But, you are on the same ladder rung. We all are, right? I’m doing relatively well today but in Aug. if people don’t resonate with the book, I won’t be quite as well. And, so I try not to feel like I’m winning even though I was definitely gloating in that essay.
Thank you for being with me here.
xoA
Also CONGRATULATIONS!!
And how does your book have anything to do with your teaching? This was personal, on his part. Obviously, you were a threat to him, and his only recourse was firing you, funny he waited until a Sunday evening to make that call. He did you a favor and changed the course of your career. Hold your head high, you are doing great work, are successful, and are independent. What comes around, goes around!
Thanks Cindy. I appreciate it. I wish I would have said, I teach for you, I don’t write for you–but I had a lot of responses after I stopped crying. Thanks for being here Cindy. 🙂
Ann, you were by far the most relatable faculty member for me when I was in the program. That is why I requested you for my final semester (even though I had already had you as a mentor), which I believe was your final semester as well. I am so happy you have found such great success. You work hard and you deserve it!
Kendra,
Awwww Hiiii. I so miss all of the students there and I think relatable might have been my downfall.
Thank you so much for being here.
I hope you are writing.
Ann
Ann, I feel so fortunate to have had you as a mentor not once but twice during my time in this program! I was so disappointed when I found out you weren’t coming back! All the mentors I had were fantastic, but you especially made me feel seen, like the type of writing I liked to do could be something. I’m grateful to you for your guidance, support, and kindness. You really made my experience in that program special and it’s a shame other students lost out on the same experience! (Not to mention I’ve read all your books and absolutely loved them!!)
I was fortunate to have you as a student. I still remember your story. Your writing was beautiful and imaginative. I hope you’re still doing it. Thank you so much for hanging with me. 🙂 Please finish that book.
I’m still writing! I’m working on my book…very slowly…but I’m still at it. Thank you for the words of encouragement. I should hire you as my accountability coach/cheerleader! 🙂
Good, You are a very good writer!
Ann — Your novels feel BIG for your readers too! Eye-catching cover and title for your upcoming one. Wish it came out sooner.
Thank you so much Lorraine. they are big to me 😉
Your story has brought back all the times I have been undervalued and overlooked in my profession. I have been working in one of the male-dominated technical fields for the past 20 years. In my early years as a co-op, I was told no one would every employee me because I was a single mom. That only someone like his son is employable. Then, about 5 years ago, I was told by my then manager that I was up for a promotion only to be passed over. I found out 6 months later that someone who had only been there half the time I had would be promoted two levels above me. When I asked I about my promotion, I was told “I never said I was going to promote you. You can’t compare yourself to “Brad” (the guy who was promoted over me). He was promoted on merit”. Which means I am “less than” and have no “merit” and shouldn’t expect a promotion.
I started writing a book about being a female in a male-dominated industry, but my mom passed away and I put my writing aside. Maybe it’s time to pick up the mantle and try writing again.
It’s time Carmen. I’ve had it, quite honestly and your story enrages me. I’ve been there so often.
Thank you for being here. Keep going.
Ann, this email meant a great deal to me. I recently was told my posts were no longer needed. I had been writing periodically for a popular writers blog. Then I received a phone call that my services were no longer needed. The reason, “You know why.” No, I really didn’t know why. I was in the hospital with my husband who was having chemotherapy. I didn’t argue. The call ended. That very week a smart and beloved agent commented that he loved my post. But here I am. They no longer want me to contribute and I really don’t know why.
Elizabeth,
I am so sorry. I can’t believe they didn’t tell you more.
But, I didn’t want to hear the answer when I got the call.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. How demoralizing. I want to say ignore them, but it’s tough.
I’m holding you in my heart.
A
Oh, I loved this post! I wrote romance for years, and was usually asked, “So when are you going to write a REAL book?” I was fired by my publisher in the middle of a contract, about 3 hours after I’d turned in the latest manuscript in the series (a new department head wanted to take things in a new direction, they said). Worst—they did it by e-mail. Not even a phone call. I saw it as utter failure, and that hurt unbearably, and I felt so much shame. My beloved agent simply said that it meant I was ready to move on and take the next step in my career. She suggested I get out of romance and write historical fiction, because I had the voice for it. It was a compliment and a validation of my talents as a writer in the midst of despair, and it saved me. I have since published two historical fiction novels, and I love what I’m doing so much. I have no idea where I’d be if I hadn’t been fired/cancelled, but now I see it as a sign from the universe that it came at a time when I needed to move forward. I am not a bestseller (yet), but I’m enjoying this phase of my career so much!
I am so sorry this happened to you. We can probably all relate to getting the rug pulled out from our feet.
This post reminds me of people that deny the first lady her doctor title. It speaks more of who they are and their value of education.
I am happy you persevered, and I look forward to your August release. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you Vicki. I think of the first lady all the time, when there was all of that hub bub around her degree.
Crazy right?
Thank you for being here. It’s so nice.
Ann
UGhhh this story is too familiar with publishing. It’s such a rugged road and not a nice one at times. That’s why sticking together with the people who understand is so important. Thanks for staying here. Congratulations on your success out of the ashes!!
Ann
Bravo to you for your sharing your truth. Sometimes we have to be pushed out or fired to became a better, stronger version of ourselves. You’re smart, bold, funny, caring and I admire your audacity❣️
Spoken like a true friend. xo
Thanks Mo, right back at you.
Wow! Thank you for sharing this story. While it hurts and stings to be fired, sometimes it is the kick in the pants me need to motivate us. Your story inspires me to keep going in my writing. Sometimes I think my book won’t be earth-shattering and thought provoking, so bother? Then I remember, especially with stories like yours, that books are also for entertaining. If the reader learns something, there’s an added bonus. Every story doesn’t have to be the “mirror to society.” They can be pure entertainment which hoping brightens someone’s day after reading it.
Someone somewhere may be looking for a book like mine and I’m going to write it. Thank you again for your wonderful stories and I’m glad you kept writing and proved your ex-boss wrong.
Jennifer,
That is exactly the thinking that keeps us loving our dreams. Yes, your voice is your voice and no one has it but you. Write it down.
And, thank you for being here. xo
What a jerk! I worked for men like that.
I’m so glad it worked out better for you in the end.
I’m sorry I won’t be there in Long Island to learn from you. Writers want to learn from you–you have valuable information to share.
There will be more Denise! One of these days we will meet in person!!
I just know it. In the mean time, thank you for always being near.
Ann, thank you for sharing your story. Two and a half years ago, you spoke at a Writer’s Digest virtual conference and your talk inspired me to finish writing my first novel. I’ve heard some of the criticisms you mentioned in your post in the last couple of years and it briefly caused me to doubt myself. Luckily, I shook it off and started querying agents. Your post reaffirmed my belief in myself. Thanks for your inspirational words and I look forward to reading your next novel.
A writer couldn’t ask for a better email than this, Terry. Thank you for sharing this and keep writing.
It’s so important.
Warmly,
Ann
Your writing does hold a mirror up to society. That’s why it resonates (and so powerfully) with so many readers.
And thank you for the fiction and women’s fiction observation. I have a novel I’m still shopping around and I’m sure it’s considered women’s fiction, but really . . .
but really is right.
Denise, thanks for always being so near and dear.
xo
I needed this today. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. I’s BIG!!
I’m so glad my words found you. Thank you for saying so.
Ann
Ann, I thank you so much for your candid sharing, as I always do. I confess I have such mixed feelings about the label women’s fiction. To me, it’s just GOOD fiction. But the other side of the coin is that the women’s fiction label helps me identify books I want to read. It wouldn’t hurt some men I know to read a little “women’s” fiction. They might learn some sensitivity.
Exactly, I don’t mind it as a way to find readers but then there should be a Men’s fiction.
If they started that category, I’d be all in.
Thanks for being here.
A
Loved this on so many levels!! Thank you
You are so welcome Heather 🙂
Your books are “big” books…sales aside, they truly reflect the human condition, allowing the reader to consider and understand so many actions…
Thank you Kathleen. What a lovely thing to say. Publishing is tough on the heart.
Thanks for being here.
Ann, it was my privilege to know you in that MFA program (Hi, Katie & Kendra!) and my lack of good fortune not to have had you as a mentor. Your books are and remain wonderful (you don’t need us to reinforce that, but …) and yeah, I did read his. It’s one of those books you struggle through and wonder how such books even get contracts.
Your success is the best retribution, because I don’t think you do revenge.
Miss ya, bud.
DCR–
I might do revenge…..
hahaha
Miss you too but thanks for your words and always being there (here).
A
The story you shared today, is one of the most effective stories a female writer can possibly share. Thank you for your courage to write it. Who hasn’t been fired without reason? If you are lucky enough to have built a lengthy career, it happens. But it is so embarrassing at the time, our female instinct is to just internalize it because of the “shame” we feel. But that is the goal of the buzzards. I am a teacher who is so proud of my profession and my own teaching it has become a huge a part of my self esteem. And yet I was fired in front of a classroom full of students. Ask our mutual friend, Josh, about this. Your story today did more to support and motivate your fellow female writers than many, many classes about writing techniques.
Dauna,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I want to give you a few moments here-fired in front of the classroom. Good lord. I will ask Josh.
I’m so glad you’re here, writing and reading.
xo
Dauna,
I had the same thing happen to me. My students, ESL, were very upset. It was definitely embarrassing and changed my career direction overall. I left it to karma. I’m not vengeful – I don’t want to invite the negativity back into my life. Karma and God can handle it . 😉
Ugh this makes me sick. I’m sorry for you and your students.
I’m so glad it didn’t change you–that takes some strength.
Thanks for reading and sharing a bit of your story,
A
Thanks for this insightful article! Although it stung at the time, that ding-bat created a space in your world that allowed you to succeed in ways which helped the rest of us. Your books are marvelous.
Patti,
Thank you! for always supporting me. Always!! It’s true and I did get that time as more things opened. Thanks for being here to see this.
Ann
So familiar. I was a student in and MFA program who’d already been published and was mocked by one of the teachers for writing women’s fiction. He really wanted me to feel ashamed of my writing, and honestly, for a while it worked. I, like you, decided not to take it lying down and wrote a NY Times op-ed about my experiences. The blow back was fierce and there was no reflection on their part about how I was treat. I was just this bad person. My heart goes out to you. I know how painful this had to be. I honestly think misogyny is at the heart of it, and the unfairness is devasting. Thanks for speaking out!
Karin,
I’d love to see that article. If I Google it will I find it?
That must have been a very hard time for you but a NY Time op-ed is truly a nice slay!
It’s a terrible thing to bully another person especially upon high. Thank you for being here to share this.
Ann
I love this so much, Ann. It’s the writerly version of “Living well is the best revenge.” It must be so satisfying. Your books are wonderful, too!
Shannon,
Thank you–it feels good to not let the haters win. 🙂 Thank you for being one of the supportive ones.
A
I love your writing and your effervescent style in person and on the page. I saw you speak in Madison some years back. So sorry for the awful experience of being fired. What a pompous ass he must be. And probably lonely. It’s wonderful to see you are thriving. The world needs you!
Ann, thank you for sharing your story. Too often, women are let go in the workforce to satisfy other’s egos. Kudos to you! Keep writing.
Thank you Sue, Thank you for reading.
OMG the gendered bullshit in this makes my blood boil! I hope you did the biggest I told you so dance on the planet. Ok maybe I’m a little petty but the dance is warranted in this situation. Thanks for sharing.
I’m so Petty Jill and when we meet in person I will tell you a secret about the dance.
Thanks for sharing this. It lifts us all up – men & women – to do better, be better.
Patty,
It’s human nature I think-and I need to remind myself too. xo Thanks for being here.
SO inspiring, Ann! Love your voice and ordering your books this moment!
Hillary,
Thank you so much!! So glad you’re here!
This is a “big essay.” Thank you so much for writing it. I appreciate your bravery in your sharing your vulnerability and am so happy to hear it makes you feel stronger. I’m still working on not letting mean people wound me. I’m going to go get one of your books. ❤️
Thank you so much for reading it.
It’s so important to not let the meanies ruin our self-esteem–because it really feels shitty.
Thanks for writing 🙂
Ann
Perhaps our illustrious MFA director can increase the sales of his next “not so soft” frat pron novel from seven to maybe nine copies. Surely there are nine bros out there who can read, or at least have their girlfriends read it to them.
Seriously, there is far too much made of the “authors’s role in society.” The purpose of an MFA is to teach the basics: idea, premise, conflict, text v subtext.
Fiction is meant to be life condensed, with a protagonist the reader can connect with and say, “that could be me”, regardless of gender or persuasion.”
I am very appreciative of the writing skills I learned from you. I learned all the sociology I needed as an undergrad.
Keith, Thank you for your support.
It’s a tough rode out there. You know, personally exp. considering who is your daughter.
Thanks for being part of my journey.
Ann
The question I ask everyone that tells me they’ve been fired is, “Are you sure they didn’t do you a favor?”