How do I lose weight?

It’s the number one question people ask me.

I love that they think I  have the answer and can give it to them in the ten minutes I have before I need another cup of coffee. I love people. People are my jam.

So I want to give people an answer. A real answer. An uncomplicated answer that doesn’t mess with people. That doesn’t blame or hurt or create a hopeless feeling of despair.

Losing weight is a million ways hard.

A million ways unfair.

…and seriously who has the time or energy for it.


But still we ask, hoping for the answer.

So I’m going to keep it short and hope to give you something satisfying for your “click”

First, you know what answer I learned the hard way? Don’t gain it.   Wait!! Don’t go away.

I’m just saying it’s so hard to lose it and keep it off you are so much far better off if you stay on top of this weight thing and don’t fling it like a toddler flings a booger, when you get frustrated.

Second, in America you have to be persistent. There is no eating like an American and losing weight. You have to eat like an American in the fifties. Bad news. I know.

The thing you must remember is this. The people who market food know everything there is about you, what you like and how to get you to eat too much. They don’t make any money unless you eat too much and continually eat too much.

Don’t be the food manufacturers bitch.

They’ve got your number. Now, you have to fight back and get theirs. You have to read the right information: AND and slowly over time absorb it into behavior. Don’t read everything just read from these two sources and from me. Of course.

As you do this, this is what I suggest.

1. Sleep more. If you are tired you won’t chop veggies and grocery shop. You will  eat easy food and easy food = calories.

2.Eat more vegetables  and whole grains and fruit. NOT foods with fake fiber or fruit juices and smoothies that simulate fruit. In the end, I’d like you to eat more complex carbohydrates (carbohydrates with fiber)

3. Reduce your animal products that are high in saturated fat. The hard white fat that you find in meat. I did not say stop. I said make the portion size smaller than the average American’s portion size. Not tiny. Not Huge.

4. Consume calcium in green leafy vegetables, low fat milks and cheeses because I don’t want your hip to break.

5. Use small plates, glasses, and cups when you eat to reduce your portion size. Become “That lady who eats in a cup.” Put your food on the counter not the table and try to make candy hard to eat when you know you are going to want it.  I hide mine in the car. *that’s embarrassing

6. Waste as much energy in the day as you can. Fidget, stand, wiggle. Walk and tap and stretch. Forget stuff upstairs so you have to go get it. Make two trips or five. Carry in all the bags of grocery yourself. 

Now here’s the thing that makes it do-able.

Pick a number from one to 6 and use the whole year to change it. Take it slow. Try, fail, try again and slowly build a habit until that habit is you. Focus on the habit not the weight. 

I would not lead you astray. I told you.

You are my jam.